Brenda Drake is holding a 1st line Blogfest competition, which is not only wonderful because it encourages critiques on your first line, but it's also a competition and Weronica Janczuk is giving away prizes!
1st place -- a critique of the first 50 pages + query
2nd place -- a critique of the first 25 pages + query
3rd place -- a critique of the query
How awesome is that?
If you haven't entered, don't worry there's still time! Sign up here and on Feb 7 and 8 post your first line, and go crit lots of other first lines.
On Feb 9 post your revised first line one the comments post here.
And now, for my entry!
Title: Phoenix's Ashes
Genre: YA Steampunk-Fantasy
Mira's dress swirled around her feet as she glided across the frozen lake, leaving trails of shimmering grooves on the ice.
Some key comments were:
The whole paragraph: Mira's dress swirled around her feet as she glided across the frozen lake, her skates leaving behind a shimmering trail of grooves. I stood frozen, staring at her like the village idiot. It wasn't until a lump of snow fell off a branch overhead that I realised I'd forgotten to breathe. Even my hands shook, and even though my fingers had a blue tinge, it wasn’t from the cold. Mira Willow, who’d never so much as glanced my way before, was here to see me.
I'm JJ and I write MG and YA fantasy. For more about me, try here.